INTJ: Being one and handling one

For those who haven't heard of it, there's a personality test called the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, based on Jung's exploration into personality types. Long story short: there are 4 binary categories, and everyone can be roughly classified into one of the 16 combinations. The categories are:

Extroversion (E) – Introversion (I)
Sensing (S) – Intuition (N)
Thinking (T) –  Feeling (F)
Judging (J) – Perception (P)

Understanding exactly what each option means is kind of a pain and not really important - the main thing is that the 16 resulting combinations are all quite unique and easy to understand. You can probably name at least one friend that fits into each category quite nicely. It's at this point that in order to maintain my academic integrity, I should point out that criticism exists against the Myers-Briggs test, with some claiming that it's vague enough to border on horoscopes. This may be true for a couple of the categories, but the majority of the categories are extremely specific and accurate. You can make your own judgement call.

So? What's the point? Well, being able to put a name and a description to the personality of your friends opens up quite a few options. For starters, it gives you insight into how their minds work, and why they act the way they do. This can be extremely handy in gaining newfound empathy and strengthening relationships. Not only that, but if it's anything like it was for me, it'll blow your mind at how well it describes things about yourself that you never even realised.

And this brings me to my type: INTJ. Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging. The words themselves don't mean much on their own, but combined it equates to this:

Have original minds and great drive for implementing their ideas and achieving their goals. Quickly see patterns in external events and develop long-range explanatory perspectives. When committed, organize a job and carry it through. Skeptical and independent, have high standards of competence and performance – for themselves and others.

As described by these short summaries. While that alone sounds a bit like a horoscope, the size of this iceberg lies just below the surface. Here are some specifics that blew my mind, courtesy of Thomas Lauer:

1. INTJs enjoy tearing things apart to understand them and to prove (or disprove) their worthiness.
2. They will gladly argue a point they don't actually support, just for the sake of argument or to probe things.
3. INTJs do have a strong sense of humour, often dry and quick, but also a bit warped.
4. Expect blunt, honest, sometimes even hurtful answers.
5. INTJs like to do lists, enumerations, pattern sorting and putting things into an ordered state.
6. Statements you can't back up with either solid facts or solid reasoning will at best be ignored and at worst poked fun at in ways not many people would describe as nice.
7. Try to be both concise and precise. Using 81 woolly words where 18 sharp ones would suffice will not endear you to them.
8. Don't expect an INTJ to respect anything you say just because you say it. INTJs bow to one authority only: rationality.
9. For an INTJ, truth is more important than simply being right, so they will readily admit errors or mistakes (once they have been convinced something they said or did was indeed wrong — to convince them may not be easy though). INTJs unfortunately expect others to work likewise (and react bewildered if they don't).
10. If you stick to a statement after being proven wrong by facts or reasoning, an INTJ will treat you as an irrational idiot and everything you say as probable nonsense.
11. Try not to be repetitive. It bores them to death.
12. An INTJ will take nothing for granted, and will (sometimes painfully) require an explanation for absolutely everything.
13. INTJs believe in workable solutions. They are open-minded to all and every possibility, but they will quickly discard any concept they deem infeasible.
14. Their way of showing that an idea you say has potential or merit is by trying to pull it apart. The ultimate INTJ insult to an idea or suggestion is to ignore it altogether, because that means it's not even interesting enough to deconstruct. This is the complete opposite to how most people work, and can seem like an interrogation sometimes.
15. Do not expect INTJs to care very much about how you view them. They already know that many people see them as arrogant bastards with a weird sense of humour and they long since got used to it.
16. INTJs, in the privacy of their minds, frequently think the unthinkable and expect the unexpected. So don't be taken aback if they express little or no surprise if something “impossible” happens.

While the entire list is eye-opening for INTJs and friends of INTJs alike, the bold points are especially relevant for people looking to understand their weird (and probably arrogant and rude) friend. The number one point for everyone to take away from this is this: INTJs expect others to work likewise (and react bewildered if they don't). I can tell you from experience that this is by far the hardest thing to keep in mind as an INTJ, and easily the largest catalyst for tension among friends.

As a final word, I'd just like to assure everyone that I (and most other INTJs) am truly not as big of a arsehole as I sometimes appear. Our arrogance has very strict limits - we know what we know, and we know what we don't know. One consolation is that if you find an INTJ friend annoying, blunt honesty will actually work extremely well :D

Ring any bells about yourself or friends (or me if you know me personally)? Leave a comment! I'd love to hear about other's experience.